the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
