can we get nightvision for the apartment?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
