I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize