NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize