it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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