I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize