I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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