My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
