so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
