fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize