You work out of a Hotel?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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