we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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