I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
