That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
