I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
