Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
