we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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