we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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