his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
