i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I will be naked everywhere
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
