turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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