Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
