peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize