we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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