You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
