Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
No subtext here. People are naked.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Randomize
