Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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