Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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