Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
