It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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