He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Randomize
