i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
