youre lurking in front of me
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
