i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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