Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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