And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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