bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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