He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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