Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
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