just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
