It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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