went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
