At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Randomize