I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
