I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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