Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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