Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Randomize
