I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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