i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
