Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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