you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
