omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
