Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
