return my video game
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
