He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
