I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
