Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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