this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
