Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
