singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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