i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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