she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
