the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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