That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
