Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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