this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
