You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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