dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
