Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
