I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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