i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
