He is an equal opportunity slut.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
