She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
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