I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
