So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
