so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
