we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
he high fived his dick after we had sex
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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