She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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