You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize