party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
